Wigging Out; Chapter 5; Coco's Journey

The Journey of Coco By Larry Puls @Larrypulsauthor

Chapter Five

Ovarian cancer, Hair loss

Coco spotted her out of the car window, wishing in some ways that it was dark outside. Her best friend Jennifer drove up from the traffic-laced street to offer some needed advice. And she needed some advice--and maybe courage as well. She knew it would take her friend to find that courage.

A kaleidoscope of thoughts were flooding her mind. This trip to the store was just kind of surreal in some ways. A wig. Really? And yet this trip was important--and she knew it. The cancer was not her fault. Some things in life couldn't be overcome. It was simply time to purchase a wig--and she knew she needed to get over it.

What kind of wig would she get? She wondered about that. I could be a blonde. But then she laughed and realized that was not who she was. She was a brunette. Always was. Always would be. And that is what her husband married. 

Looking around the parking lot, no other familiar faces were around. With sunglasses and her wide brim hat, she climbed from the driver’s side and headed towards Jennifer’s car.

Will Coco Waste Her Cancer? Chapter 4; Coco's Journey

The Journey of Coco

Chapter Four

By Larry Puls @Larrypulsauthor

The Journey of Cancer, Ovarian Cancer

Scooting off the elevator, Coco sensed the fear mounting up inside, as if she were stepping onto a scary ride at the fairgrounds. This office represented something of significance, a beginning of a new world, a reality check, a reminder of how fragile her life really was. She took a deep breath, worked to shrug off her thin emotions, and hid the trepidation--at least in front of all these people.

Standing at the check in, feeling the metal staples on her belly, she thought of the metal bumps as something like icing over the top of a trying event. And the resulting scar would not be a post-it note of fear, but a beautiful tattoo, and a tool for teaching. So she asked, what will it teach me? That seemed unclear for now--though it was getting clearer by the day. Even in the two weeks since her surgery, strength had grown inside her soul. There had been tangible positive leaps. More inner determination, perhaps. Her prayer life had taken on a whole new meaning—it rolled non-stop—her war room was fully activated. The threat of losing her life, of not seeing future grandkids, had forced her to reorganize her priorities and made her emphasize pieces of her life that had up until now been allowed to atrophy.

Driving Miss Coco; Chapter 3; Coco's Journey

By Larry Puls: The Journey  of Coco @Larrypulsauthor

Ovarian Cancer; Life with Cancer

Chapter Three

Coco gazed blindly out the window while the drops of rain clouded her view. The trees passed by in a blur and a thousand thoughts swirled around in her head. It was difficult to concentrate on any one thought. Confusion stifled that concentration. The rabbit trails abounded, leaping across her mind, forcing every facet of her life to be visible in just seconds. Her eyes shifted down towards her lap when it all became too overwhelming. Her head shook. Reflections of her conversation with her physician now barged in and consumed her. It seemed unavoidable. But then she convinced herself she couldn't go there--at least not now. So, she opted to shift her focus to a happier subject--her daughter.   

Waking Up in a Deep Fog; Chapter 2; Coco's Journey

by Larry Puls @larrypulsauthor

The fictional but poignant journey of Courageous Courtney (Coco) Vin and her road through ovarian cancer from start to finish, from good to bad (and maybe back to good again). No one knows the outcome yet. Not even me. A story designed to be interactive--assuming you supply me with questions and thoughts that you want me to build into her life.

Enjoy! Happy Valentine's Day.

Waking from a Fog, Anesthesia

I hear my name called, but I don’t recognize the voice. There it is again. I open my eyes and before me is a face. Unfamiliar. Everything seems blurry. There is a mask. Why are they saying my name?  

Suddenly, my belly twinges. And then a whisper is heard. Saying what? The fog surrounding must be blocking my hearing. I think I am lost. But miraculously, my surroundings slowly but certainly clear a touch. A small sense of familiarity arises. I know this place. Wasn't I just here?

When the Baby Screams Out the Only Way It Can

by Larry Puls @larrypulsauthor 

Uterine Rupture, Cesarean Hysterectomy

It was 2:45 in the afternoon. Labor had been progressing since eight that morning, an elective induction for being a week late. I was in my office seeing patients, having never met this patient with the seemingly normal labor. Epidural in place. Check. Husband by his wife’s side. Check. Nursery was awaiting them back home. Check.

The labor contractions were regular and strong. There was a smile on the patient’s face—epidurals are amazing. But the progress of labor had slowed. The cervix had not dilated any over the last two hours. Otherwise, everything was stable.

When You Have to Play with Snakes

by Larry Puls, @larrypulsauthor

Endometrial Cancer; Lymph Node Involvement

The CT scan tells a story. Maybe not the hopeful story we wanted. In the pelvis, there is an enlarged uterus and within its walls sits a cancer—now seeping blood. The biopsy confirms the diagnosis. The cells under the microscope show its cancerous pattern. And though this is not a good thing, it’s not the worst thing here. What is worse is the six-centimeter cancerous lymph node that has found a home on top of the vena cava—the largest vein in the human body. It jumps out from the images on the computer, almost taunting me.

Ruminating over the complexity of the forthcoming surgery, I find myself filled with trepidation. The vena cava is about two inches across and serves as a conduit for so much blood per second that it intimidates most surgeons. And the wall of that vessel is not much thicker or stronger than wet tissue paper. And in this case unfortunately, the devil is sitting on that vein.

Personal Reflections Before My Cancer Surgery; Chapter One; Coco's Journey

by Larry Puls, @larrypulsauthor

Personal Reflections Before My Cancer Surgery

Unsympathetically, the alarm clock blares. I wake, perplexed. How early is it? Studying the face of the clock, nothing registers. I rub my eyes... Three fifteen am. Then unexpectedly, fear sweeps in and pervades me. Reasons for the early morning hour come flooding into my head. Surgery is only five hours away.

Stubbing a toe on my way downstairs, I catch myself before falling. My legs wax unsteady. Rounding the corner to the kitchen, I turn on the lights and see my note. There is no coffee in the maker and I cannot have a cup today. Grrr. My shoulders shrug. I have nowhere else to go but to the kitchen table, where I sit. There in the window is a reflection of a woman who doesn’t really look like me—and yet I know that it is. How did I get here, in this place, in this predicament? I arrive at no answers.