When is the Husband’s Pain Too Unbearable? Coco' Journey; Chapter 24

By Larry Puls @larrypulsauthor

Ovarian Cancer; Suffering; Encouragement

Coco stepped onto the oncology unit where Marcia had been admitted last night with nausea--and emesis. She questioned how bad it was… Her intuition whispered answers… Approaching the room, she saw Marcia’s husband standing silently outside her door. His head was down.

“Jack, good to see you," she said softly. "How are you?”

He looked up, and initially didn’t answer. A bewildered look filled his eyes. He twisted his head to the side. Then shrugged his shoulders and said, “Thank you for coming up.” He never answered her question. Perhaps he couldn't.

She noted the eyes painted in red--bloodshot by every definition. This man standing in front of her defined despairing. A man drowning in pain, hiding his fragile and visible emotion in the hall from his wife. The body language brought tears to Coco's eyes. His demeanor suggested the end of the Marcia story was approaching. Heartbreaking. Her spirit began to grieve…   

Coco had been married a long time and knew much about husbands. She had come to know how lost they could be without their spouses--how the loss of love could break their spirits. And this man seemed to epitomize that. She now knew, Marcia was his "raison d'être", his reason to be. His everything. She saw how deep and strong his love was for this woman and wondered whether he would survive her death. 

Obviously Marcia's last four years of suffering—culminated  in this moment—was pushing him to his breaking point. This man's will was desperate to hold on to her. But reality was too emphatic; he would soon have to let her go… What do I do? Coco could only think to hug him. It was all she knew to do. And when she did, his lingering embrace confirmed everything.

Stepping back for a second, she said, “She's not doing well, is she?”

Hesitation. “She has a blockage,” though Coco could barely hear him.

“And if she is blocked?” 

His shoulders dropped when he looked down at the floor. "I don't know for sure." 

She stood in silence.

He took a deep breath. “Probably nothing... And,” he stopped when his voice cracked... “I hate this cancer,” he murmured.

“I'm so sorry Jack...”

His eyes began to well up--probably not the first time today.

She couldn't speak either. The pain became too unbearable.

Inside the room, next to where they stood, was a beautiful woman suffering with overwhelming nausea. And in this hallway, was this scarred man suffering in his own way as well. She questioned why God would put her here right now--particularly given that she shared this woman's diagnosis. How could she help and stay sane? She didn’t know.

So she just put her arm around him again and held on. It was going to be a tough ride. 

When is the Husband's Pain Too Unbearable? Larry Puls; (Click to Tweet) 

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Coco's Journey