Do They Really Put That in Your Belly?; Chapter 6; Coco's Journey

By Larry Puls @larrypulsauthor

Chemotherapy, Ovarian Cancer

The cavernous room was intimidating. She wanted to run away, but couldn't realistically escape. This was that place and that day she had been dreading. And her confidence was unquestionably wavering from her vivid imagination.

Coco stood there considering the day—and the room in front of her—the chemotherapy suite. She wished she was anywhere but here. Inhaling deeply, she thought, you can do this. Panning the room, she forced enough resolve to tiptoe back towards her designated spot for the day. As she trekked across the room, she wondered about what the next eight hours would hold—and about what her chemotherapy experience would be like. There was that word again—chemotherapy. What would it be like? She couldn’t recall many of the side effects that her doctor had mentioned—except one. Abdominal pain. How bad will it be?

“My name is Claire, I will be your chemotherapy nurse.”

Startled from the voice, she looked up. Before she spoke to this stranger, she studied the woman in front of her. Fear coursed through her veins. Who is this woman? I hope a friend. She didn’t know. Part of her knew that she would eventually get to know this woman with the smile—and trust her—hopefully. But could she? Trust might be hard—particularly since this stranger was going to be pouring strange poisons into her belly. Should I let you do that? She shrugged her shoulders.

“Nice to meet you Claire.” But she was fighting her fears.

After switching into her gown, she laid down on the bed and her best friend Jennifer walked up. This was her most precious friend—save her husband--and she knew it. A once in a lifetime find. Jennifer had asked, and even begged, if she could stay with her for the day. And Coco had secretly hoped she might offer—though she could never have asked. But her friend extended the offer. And she wanted the companionship, and in reality, craved it. So she reached over and held Jennifer’s hand and thanked her for coming.

Over the next thirty minutes, IV lines went in, and fluids started dripping. But what were they dripping? Probably just some “pre-stuff.” But the details of that didn’t seem so important.

“Thank you Jennifer for staying with me,” she said looking up at her.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As the two of them talked, more and more medicines were pushed into her IV, and the surroundings turned to blurriness. There were now two Jennifers—or so it seemed. Whatever the drugs were, they were certainly controlled substances, and not medicines you would take before driving. The world became hazy.

And just as her drowsiness hit a crescendo, a big, important looking bag came in. It was filled with clear fluid. She surmised it must be the real “stuff”, the raison d'etre for the day. It had labels and warning signs all over it. But her eyes couldn’t focus enough at this point to read the print. Somehow at that moment, she realized that all of this around her was real. She had cancer. She was in a fight for her life. What was about to happen would change her life forever, and somehow she felt helpless to stop it. It was a needed cleansing, a purging as she saw it, of all those bad little evil cells floating around inside of her belly. They would need to be killed—and this was the ticket to that event—even if it was going to be exceedingly difficult. Part of her wanted to get up from the chair and run, part of her knew she needed to take her medicine. It was not a choice, it was now her destiny.

The nurse got ready to push the start button.

“Claire, would you wait one second?” And then as Claire nodded, she asked, “Jennifer would you pray for me?”

“I would be honored.”

They gripped their hands tightly together and prayed. Coco felt the anxiety begin to wane. Maybe that was from the medicine. Maybe it was from the prayer. Either way, she sensed a peace roll through her letting her know that she could endure, that she would make it to her daughter’s wedding, that she would see her grandchildren someday. This was a fight she was involved in, but she didn’t really know what the outcome would be. To win it would take trust—and good fortune—and the Lord’s blessing. And today’s step into chemotherapy was a very big step of faith.

When Jennifer said Amen, Coco looked up at Claire and nodded. “I’m ready.”

The medicine left the bag, dripped slowly through the line, and filled up her belly. Her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep. 

Do They Really Put That in Your Belly? Larry Puls, (Click to Tweet)