Will Coco Waste Her Cancer? Chapter 4; Coco's Journey

The Journey of Coco

Chapter Four

By Larry Puls @Larrypulsauthor

The Journey of Cancer, Ovarian Cancer

Scooting off the elevator, Coco sensed the fear mounting up inside, as if she were stepping onto a scary ride at the fairgrounds. This office represented something of significance, a beginning of a new world, a reality check, a reminder of how fragile her life really was. She took a deep breath, worked to shrug off her thin emotions, and hid the trepidation--at least in front of all these people.

Standing at the check in, feeling the metal staples on her belly, she thought of the metal bumps as something like icing over the top of a trying event. And the resulting scar would not be a post-it note of fear, but a beautiful tattoo, and a tool for teaching. So she asked, what will it teach me? That seemed unclear for now--though it was getting clearer by the day. Even in the two weeks since her surgery, strength had grown inside her soul. There had been tangible positive leaps. More inner determination, perhaps. Her prayer life had taken on a whole new meaning—it rolled non-stop—her war room was fully activated. The threat of losing her life, of not seeing future grandkids, had forced her to reorganize her priorities and made her emphasize pieces of her life that had up until now been allowed to atrophy.

“Mom,” she turned.

“Kate! What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to be with you and Dad when you talked with the doctor. And an extra pair of ears can't hurt. So, Dad told me what time to be here. I hope that's ok,” her daughter said before hugging her.

"I'm glad you're here."

Going in to see the doctor, they removed all the staples first before the real conversations began. As they settled in, the doctor went one by one through all of the aspects of the coming chemotherapy, including how they would pour the chemo drugs directly into her belly. None of it sounded good, but none of it would get her down either. All these temporary sufferings would be fairly short-lived—and they would actually be investments to find a future. Her shoulder length hair would grow back, and she would simply wiser about the crowds she wandered through.

But as she sat there in the room that day with her family and the medical team, it struck her how fortunate she was to be here right now, with these people. Her husband had a firm grip of her right hand and her daughter, on the left. She could be alone. Yet she wasn’t. She could be a widow or divorced, or her daughter could live half a world away—and she had chosen to live here. Her daughter’s future husband was also employed here in the community which would give even more support. She had a physician that she had confidence in and a medical system that offered her all the options she might need going forward. And she had her faith. It was all good.

Considering everything facing her, she realized that she could use this cancer to become bitter and sad and introverted, or she could use it as a conduit to grow and serve those around her. And at that moment, she decided to do the later, to serve and grow. She would not waste this cancer. It would not own her, though it would inevitably influence her—but hopefully for good and not for bad.

Walking out to her car, her husband offered to take the three of them to lunch—in the middle of the week. How scandalous! And yet how sweet! To be loved is an amazing gift. In the midst of her turmoil, her mind shifted and she saw this life-threatening diagnosis as a gift and not a curse. How would she use it? She asked herself that as she climbed into the car. The cancer may seem like evil, but in some sense it was good—no matter what was thrown her way. In the meantime, savoring a meal and time and conversation with the ones she loved the most would be the plan for the day. Everything else would become known in due time. 

Will Coco Waste Her Cancer? Larry Puls, (Click to Tweet)